daddylane's Cancer Blog

May 10, 2008

Ok...

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Now that we have the cute stuff out of the way, lets get “REAL” with each other on a whole different level.

I wrote this blog two to three days ago, I can’t say right now…please try to understand, time has been a real difficult dynamic to track accurately these lat couple of, couple of, couple of….. I am not proud to have kept everyone waiting for so long so try to digest this blog even though I wrote eons ago. Thank you loved one’s!

5/7/08
This is the point where we get even more honest with you all. The previous blogs have been light and easy to digest for the moist part. Well folks, get your seat belts fastened and have a box of tissues near by.
Daddy Lane has started taking a much more intense medication. It is one that is primarily used with assisting heroin addicts with detoxification to clean up. It’s called Methadone and it is no joke. We began administering it at 12 midnight today and required monitoring his breathing. He appears to be much more “out of it” and is having difficulty focusing his thoughts. His ability to track has been impacted greatly. He is not able to really follow how the new medications are to be taken much less the his old medications.
Wow! He has been so strong for so long that the recent digression (for lack of a better word) is super difficult for me to deal with and process.
We went out yesterday to run some errands and get his handicap placard from the MVA. When we were coming back into the house he had a bad moment where he lost his ability to stand (read collapsed). Luckily Momma was there and I was able to catch him and help ease him to the ground. This was a powerfully painful moment. The look in his eyes said it all. I was crushed by seeing his pain. Like I say the strength and determination he has displayed have been so inspirational, even though I have been trying to prepare myself for these difficult times, it’s tough to see him go downhill in this manner. It may have to do with pride. It may have to do with expectations or not wanting to deal with this reality. I can’t rightly say at this point. The point is that Daddy Lane has progressed to the next stage in this ugly battle. We will be setting up shifts to monitor him since he is very much prone to be up at 3 AM “fixing” something and not really too grounded. We are at the next level with the intensity of the medications and how they are going to affect his well being. I am aware that they are serving the purpose of addressing his pain. I also know that the likelihood of this continuing is up in the air in terms of how he will respond to this next phase. He may be bed ridden soon. He may require 24 hour care where we will be performing the more basic human needs tasks for/with him. These are the things I have attempted to prepare myself for and it seems that they may be happening sooner or later.

Posted on May 10, 2008 at 1:30:48 AM by Gerald Lane with help from Timothy ( Ok..., 0 comments)